Day 475 of my Captivity

The humans are finally gone. One of them left their electronic screen, that I hypnotically love to rub my face on, open so I took the liberty to talk a little bit about my life...

As you should all know, I am a Siamese cat, and a very classy one at that. I love the finer things in life. For example, I only react to the finest of nips in the land. I also only the eat the best salmon and fish my useless owners have to offer. 

I often look out the window and wonder what it must be like in that strange world parallel to my own. I see the pitiful strays wander across the yard. I hear their sad cries beckoning me to join them in misery, but my pure-breed blood is disgusted and I turn away in shame. I can not stand such charity. 

I will end my first discussion on the topic of disappearing poop. Yes, I said disappearing poop... It is one of the strangest phenomenon of my kind. Everyday I go to my special box where I relieve myself, in a relaxing experience of shuffling the scented sand below me and leaving behind a gift to world. I give a piece myself to this world, only to find it gone the next day! What kind of abomination is this?! I want the world to see my beauty and excellence, but how can they when it is constantly disappearing?! I feel as though the humans are behind this...just as they are with many other conspiracies in my dwelling. 

I will keep you posted on any other misdoings...

Paws & Claws,

Latte